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Birthday
Statistics
We
received a letter from one of the Vociferous Few
who has been working abroad (Peterhead to be exact)
for the past year. Read on and all will be revealed...
Dear Doctor,
Cowdenbeath FC have left me scarred for life by
losing 5 goals on my 9th, 13th and 37th birthdays.
In 1970, they were hammered at Ibrox then in '74
we lost 5-3 to shitey 'Shire and this year my
cake went down the Boghead. Can you tell me if
my birthdate is a jinx to CFC by telling me all
the Cowden results on 19th September since 1961?
Cheers
Alex Horsburgh
Your letter is just the sort of challenge Dr O'Rak
finds most stimulating. Indeed, it has been statistically
proven via regression analysis and the use of Fermat's
Last Theorem that the birth dates of supporters
greatly influence their team's results when a game
occurs on the anniversary of their birth. Indeed
a system has been devised by the Grande Ecole
de Mathematiques in Paris ranking the 'luckiness'
of supporters from 5 (Ally McCoist's luck co-efficient)
to 1 (Andy Harrow's luck co-efficient). Statistical
analysis of results on your birthday will allow
us to allocate you to the requisite group. It should
of course be noted that your birth sign is Virgo
which tends towards difficulties in scoring and
getting a result.
However, our quest begins promisingly on your 1st
birthday in 1962 with Cowden travelling on
a Wednesday to Link's Park and defeating Montrose
by 4-2. Andy Matthew and Gibby Ormond 2 (Willie
Ormond's brother) both scored for Cowden. 2 years
on in 1964, Cowden fought out a 1-1 draw
at Douglas Park v Hamilton with Andy Matthew again
scoring. However, there is evidence that our fortunes
were beginning to be influenced adversely as outside-right
Roger Sugden broke his leg during the game.
There were no more such birthday treats until 1970
when the Rangers match you mentioned unfortunately
came along. No-one who witnessed this disaster will
forget it as it was kindly beamed to the nation
by Scotsport. At least it wasn't live on SKY. 16-year
old Derek Johnstone scored two on his debut and
John Greig matched him in the scoring stakes. Cowden
were never at the races as they collapsed with stagefright
whilst Alan Wylie regretted following Frank Haffey's
old tip of wearing boxing gloves impregnated with
soap in the Cowden goal.
Moving on rapidly from the 'nightmare on Copland
Road', we arrive at 1973 and the 5-3 defeat
by the Shire at Central Park – a Shire side
as ever inspired by Bobby 'the Jobby' McCulley.
This was an improvement though from the 5-1 drubbing
at Firs Park a week earlier albeit the 6-1 defeat
by Stirling Albion a week later dispelled any notion
that the corner had been turned. Cowden had earlier
lost 3 League Cup ties by 5-1 – despite a defence
featuring such stars as Danks, Coburn, 'Zeb' Stewart
and Blackadder.
Thus after some initial promise, Alex's credentials
as a good luck charm were by his 12th birthday somewhat
receding. 6 years later in 1979 amidst 18th
birthday celebrations, came another nail in his
coffin with a 3-0 defeat at Brockville in which
future Townie Gary Thompson grabbed all 3 goals.
Some pride was though regained with a 0-0 draw against
Stirling Albion at Annfield in 1981.
1987 brings us to the painful to recall but
thankfully brief Dick Campbell era at Central Park.
We took on Albion Rovers at Central Park on September
19th with Cowden boasting the worst defence in Scotland
and marooned at the foot of the table. Dick had
allegedly improved the side with a number of signings
including those great club men Jim Sinnett and Billy
Herd. However, on this particular day, Cowden did
actually secure a point in a 3-3 draw despite the
defence chucking in goals as fast as Sinnett and
co could score them. This was the well-remembered
game when Ally Graham made it 3-2 to Rovers despite
being both offside and his effort hitting the bar
and not crossing the line when it bounced down.
The erstwhile (at least I think that was the adjective
used at the time albeit it might have been abbreviated
in the heat of the moment by the fans) Campbell
then elected to have a bust up with the ref which
earned him a centre-stand seat.
Next up in the roll of shame comes 1992 as
Cowden succumbed pathetically 3-0 to rampant Raith
Rovers by 3-0 at Central Park. Amazingly Cowden
lost despite new boss Harrow dropping strikers Lamont
and Buckley to make way for those terrace icons
Condie and Lee. Gordon Dalziel was the man who did
the damage with a hat-trick as Rovers headed for
the Premier League and Cowden headed for the derriere
of the League.
Finally, we come to the Dumbarton debacle of 1998
and a 5-0 drubbing. This takes Alex's birthday record
to P 9 W 1 D 3 L 5 F 11 A 27 Pts 5 – this equals
a statistical success rate of 27.7% - better than
Andy Harrow's managerial record and around the level
of success enjoyed by Dick Campbell during his brief
tenure. After 36 years without a win, the verdict
is 'as bad as Dick' (thus Alex would be wise not
to park his car near the ground or wear a baseball
cap) and Alex stands condemned as a veritable Jonah
with a luck co-efficient of 1. Has he never thought
of making the ultimate sacrifice for Cowden and
joining the Townie hordes?
Never mind Alex, September 19th wasn't always a
bad day for Cowden fans. Back in 1925 we beat Dundee
5-0 on that day albeit we did lose 7-0 to Celtic
in 1933. I myself was actually born on a Saturday
at 4.40 just in time for the results on the teleprinter
(as it was then) coming up on Grandstand ……
.Albion Rovers…… 5 (Five) … .. Cowdenbeath
…… 1.
We're always on the lookout for Blue Brazilians
from yesteryear. If you should know of anyone who
is worthy of a mention, drop an email to webmaster@blue-brazil.co.uk
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When
you follow a club such as Cowdenbeath that has failed
to deliver regular cup or championship glory, it
is easy to forget how good the godd times were and
how really bad things have got. Our very
own club historian Dr O'Rak is always there in your
time of need to give you that piece of well-researched
information which put the LEG in LEGEND.
