The
hit of this year's Cannes Film Festival proved to
be Robert Duvall's dramatisation of Ron Ferguson's
'Black Diamonds and The Blue Brazil' with an all
star cast shot on location in Scotland and Beverly
Hills. Based on a true story in the best traditions
of "Braveheart" and "Godzilla",
it tells the heroic tale of a plucky soccer club
based in a small mining town in Scotland. This portrayal
of soccer and its effect on the lives of the inhabitants
of Cowdenbeath is both evocative and shot through
with realism.
The film begins
with former soccer star Jock Busby (played by Sean
Connery) returning to his roots to work at the local
colliery whilst also taking on the job as manager
of struggling Cowdenbeath Soccer Club. Soon the
colliery is earmarked for closure by the iniquitous
Tory government of Margaret Thatcher (Joanna Lumley
in top form in an uncharacteristic role) which has
rigged the power market to favour nuclear energy
producers. However, the firebrand Busby is not about
to accept the death of his pit which stands as an
analogy for the death of the town and its soccer
club as well his own and the townsfolk's dreams
and aspirations. Introducing himself characteristically,
"the name is Busby, Jock Busby", he leads
a workers revolt with the aid of his sidekicks Arthur
McGachie and Mick Scargill (played with panache
and grit by Ewan McGregor and Robert Carlyle). Other
miners make stirring contributions to the fight
by forming brass bands and becoming male strippers.
The industrial fight is paralleled by the local
soccer team which plays in a run down stadium before
a hardy few apathetic and world weary supporters.
Busby takes over a team which has not won for 38
games and faces a critical match v great rivals
Dunfermline Townies who are sponsored by the local
nuclear power plant owned by club chairman and Tory
acolyte Monty Burns(Jeremy
Irons at his oleaginous best). Cowdenbeath travel
the few miles to play Dunfermline at their ground
Radiation Park and enter a cauldron of hate as the
arrogant Dunfermline fans encourage their team to
destroy the last vestige of pride of Cowdenbeath.
Dunfermline adopt the most dubious of tactics and
soon Cowdenbeath are reduced to just 8 men following
vicious assaults which go unpunished by the referee.
The baying Dunfermline fans now await the coup de
grace but then in the distance we hear the sounds
of the miners brass band, which the crafty Busby
has called on to assemble outside the ground, playing
the 'Blue Brazil Polka', the club's theme tune.
The Cowden fans join in with the rousing words,
"O' Blue Brazil, when will we see your likes
again, that fought and died for yer wee pit, pie
and Bovril, and stood against Townies and Tories
and sent them homewards tae think again".
Inspired
by this anthemic backing, the Cowdenbeath team are
transformed. Sly Stallone is defiant as "Buzz
Lamont" as he reprises his 'Escape to Victory'
heroics and proves he is a natural born soccer goalguard.
The game eventually begins to turn in Cowdenbeath's
favour and star offensive man 'Wild Bill' Callaghan
(Jack Nicholson) scores 2 points to give Cowdenbeath
an unlikely victory which take them through to the
Scotch Cup final.
In the final, at the famed Hampden Park in Edinburgh
in the lee of Edinburgh Castle, Cowdenbeath face
the might of Glasgow Rangers, a team which hasn't
lost a game for 9 years and expect to make it 10
in a row. Meantime the mendacious Dunfermline chairman,
stung by defeat, sends in the bailiffs to evict
Cowdenbeath from their ground unless a long outstanding
debt of two million pounds is paid to another of
his companies for unpaid lemonade bills. Called
on to show some compassion towards Cowdenbeath by
Busby, Burns refuses memorably riposting, 'the name's
Monty Burns not Rabbie Burns'. At the same time,
it appears curtains for the pit which is now scheduled
to close on the same day as the final.
The game
itself is an epic contest and Cowdenbeath face an
unremitting onslaught throughout, only surviving
by dint of Stallone's miraculous shot-stopping despite
his suffering a broken arm in opening minutes of
the game. However, the Cowdenbeath contingent in
the crowd begins to grow in volume and silences
the green and white clad Rangers supporters. Led
by the Cowdenbeath cheerleaders 'the Slinky Blues'
waving their blue and white pompoms and the club
mascot "Shug the Dug", the fans give ever
more vociferous encouragement. The Cowden players
can be seen literally growing in stature as the
match progresses with the rugged Eric Archibald
(Arnold Shwarzenegger) and Colin Scott (Danny Devito
- never better than in this movie) leading the way
forward.
In the last minute, with the game scoreless Graham
Buckley (Michael J Fox) is poleaxed by a Rangers
player to produce the drama of a penalty climax. Jock Busby calls a time out and then
nominates Buzz's brother Peter 'Sumo' Lamont (Bruce
Willis) as the man for the job with regular penalty
taker Buckley carried off unconscious. Sumo has
been left out of the team for some time after sinking
into a pie-crazed hell. When asked by Busby if he
is up to the task, Lamont nods almost imperceptibly
and grunts. Callaghan says, "Go ahead, make
my day". Wearing his trademark tattered and
torn top Lamont steps up as past scenes shoot through
his mind. He recalls his two best friends, one of
whom was killed in a pit landslide, the other in
a bar room shootout in Wee Jimmies, as well as the
girl who left him when he sunk into depression and
began spending all his time in a downtown pieshop.
The crowd hushes, Lamont strikes the ball and seconds
later it nestles in the back of net, whilst the
crowd rents the air with its cheering - even the
Rangers fans cheer. Lamont grins laconically and
utters the immortal line, "yippee kye ae".
Cowdenbeath have won the Cup and the £ 5m cheque
that goes with victory. At the same time, news comes
over the PA that Maggie Thatcher has been defeated.
Lifelong Cowden fan Tony Blair is now in power and
the pit is saved.
The band strikes up 'The Blue Brazil Polka', bagpipes
add a discordant harmony, pit hooters go off, the
male strippers disrobe, the crowd's chorus swells
and the Lamont brothers chair the architect of the
triumph Jock Busby from the field as he holds the
Scotch Cup aloft. My verdict - sheer magic, don't
miss this one, it's taking the US box office by
storm - and why not.
This articles was originally published in the When The
Sun Shines fanzine
When
The Sun Shines is an independent magazine written by the supporters,
for the supporters. Any
opinions expressed in this page is not the opinion of any players
or officials directly or indirectly connected to Cowdenbeath
Football Club.
The film begins
with former soccer star Jock Busby (played by Sean
Connery) returning to his roots to work at the local
colliery whilst also taking on the job as manager
of struggling Cowdenbeath Soccer Club. Soon the
colliery is earmarked for closure by the iniquitous
Tory government of Margaret Thatcher (Joanna Lumley
in top form in an uncharacteristic role) which has
rigged the power market to favour nuclear energy
producers. However, the firebrand Busby is not about
to accept the death of his pit which stands as an
analogy for the death of the town and its soccer
club as well his own and the townsfolk's dreams
and aspirations. Introducing himself characteristically,
"the name is Busby, Jock Busby", he leads
a workers revolt with the aid of his sidekicks Arthur
McGachie and Mick Scargill (played with panache
and grit by Ewan McGregor and Robert Carlyle). Other
miners make stirring contributions to the fight
by forming brass bands and becoming male strippers.
Burns(Jeremy
Irons at his oleaginous best). Cowdenbeath travel
the few miles to play Dunfermline at their ground
Radiation Park and enter a cauldron of hate as the
arrogant Dunfermline fans encourage their team to
destroy the last vestige of pride of Cowdenbeath.
Dunfermline adopt the most dubious of tactics and
soon Cowdenbeath are reduced to just 8 men following
vicious assaults which go unpunished by the referee.
The baying Dunfermline fans now await the coup de
grace but then in the distance we hear the sounds
of the miners brass band, which the crafty Busby
has called on to assemble outside the ground, playing
the 'Blue Brazil Polka', the club's theme tune.
The Cowden fans join in with the rousing words,
"O' Blue Brazil, when will we see your likes
again, that fought and died for yer wee pit, pie
and Bovril, and stood against Townies and Tories
and sent them homewards tae think again". 
Inspired
by this anthemic backing, the Cowdenbeath team are
transformed. Sly Stallone is defiant as "Buzz
Lamont" as he reprises his 'Escape to Victory'
heroics and proves he is a natural born soccer goalguard.
The game eventually begins to turn in Cowdenbeath's
favour and star offensive man 'Wild Bill' Callaghan
(Jack Nicholson) scores 2 points to give Cowdenbeath
an unlikely victory which take them through to the
Scotch Cup final. 
The game
itself is an epic contest and Cowdenbeath face an
unremitting onslaught throughout, only surviving
by dint of Stallone's miraculous shot-stopping despite
his suffering a broken arm in opening minutes of
the game. However, the Cowdenbeath contingent in
the crowd begins to grow in volume and silences
the green and white clad Rangers supporters. Led
by the Cowdenbeath cheerleaders 'the Slinky Blues'
waving their blue and white pompoms and the club
mascot "Shug the Dug", the fans give ever
more vociferous encouragement. The Cowden players
can be seen literally growing in stature as the
match progresses with the rugged Eric Archibald
(Arnold Shwarzenegger) and Colin Scott (Danny Devito
- never better than in this movie) leading the way
forward. 
drama of a penalty climax. Jock Busby calls a time out and then
nominates Buzz's brother Peter 'Sumo' Lamont (Bruce
Willis) as the man for the job with regular penalty
taker Buckley carried off unconscious. Sumo has
been left out of the team for some time after sinking
into a pie-crazed hell. When asked by Busby if he
is up to the task, Lamont nods almost imperceptibly
and grunts. Callaghan says, "Go ahead, make
my day". Wearing his trademark tattered and
torn top Lamont steps up as past scenes shoot through
his mind. He recalls his two best friends, one of
whom was killed in a pit landslide, the other in
a bar room shootout in Wee Jimmies, as well as the
girl who left him when he sunk into depression and
began spending all his time in a downtown pieshop.
The crowd hushes, Lamont strikes the ball and seconds
later it nestles in the back of net, whilst the
crowd rents the air with its cheering - even the
Rangers fans cheer. Lamont grins laconically and
utters the immortal line, "yippee kye ae".
Cowdenbeath have won the Cup and the £ 5m cheque
that goes with victory. At the same time, news comes
over the PA that Maggie Thatcher has been defeated.
Lifelong Cowden fan Tony Blair is now in power and
the pit is saved. 