It's
not every day that you hear a mention of Cowdenbeath
on non-sporting programmes, however there are some
folks that think that our glorious hamlet deserves
its' place in history...
Policemen
make Wonderful Friends /
A Scotsman on a Horse
As featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode
6
The
cast:
MUM
- Terry
Jones
DAD
- Ian
Davidson
FIRST
SCOTSMAN - John
Cleese
SECOND
SCOTSMAN - Michael
Palin
The
sketch:
(Scene
: A working-class kitchen.)
Mum:(reading newspaper) D'you read that,
Edgar?
Dad:
What's that dear?
Mum:
There's been another Indian massacre at Dorking
Civic Theatre.
Dad:
About time too dear...
Mum:
'Those who were left alive at the end got
their money back'.
Dad:
That's what live theatre needs - a few more
massacres...
Mum:
'The police are anxious to speak to anyone
who saw the crime, ladies with large breasts,
or just anyone who likes policemen.'
(Suddenly
a policeman walks in between the couple and
the camera.)
Policeman:(to camera) Yes! Policemen make wonderful
friends. So it' you are over six feet tall
and would like a friend, a pen friend, in
the police force, here is the address to write
to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street,
Cowdenbeath'.
Remember-policemen
make wonderful friends. So write today and
take advantage of our free officer. Thank
you. And now for the next sketch.
(The
policeman renteves his halmet, shakes it,
proffers it to mum at the table. She takes
out a small folded bit of paper, opens and
reads.)
Mum:
A Scotsman on a horse.
Policeman:
For Mrs Emma Hamilton of Nelson, a Scotsman
on a horse.
(A
Scotsman rides up to the camera and looks around,
puzzled.)
In
long-shot we see him riding off. At a wee
Scottish kirk another Scotsman is waiting
at the head of the aisle to be married. Intercut
between first Scotsman galloping through the
countryside and the wedding procession coming
up the aisle. The wedding takes place; just
as it finishes' the first Scotsman rides up
to the kirk and rushes in. The assembled congregation
look at him in alarm as he surveys them; then
he picks up the other Scotsman and carries
him off. Cut to film of Women's Institute
audience applauding.)
This articles was originally published in the When The
Sun Shines fanzine
When
The Sun Shines is an independent magazine written by the supporters,
for the supporters. Any
opinions expressed in this page is not the opinion of any players
or officials directly or indirectly connected to Cowdenbeath
Football Club.
In
long-shot we see him riding off. At a wee
Scottish kirk another Scotsman is waiting
at the head of the aisle to be married. Intercut
between first Scotsman galloping through the
countryside and the wedding procession coming
up the aisle. The wedding takes place; just
as it finishes' the first Scotsman rides up
to the kirk and rushes in. The assembled congregation
look at him in alarm as he surveys them; then
he picks up the other Scotsman and carries
him off. Cut to film of Women's Institute
audience applauding.)